he has soft hand...i felt it that night=)
but...
with plasters...lol
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
thank you
Tonight is a sleepless night, while listening to the beautiful voice of josh groban, i am here writing a blog=) (obviously)
being honest and telling the truth can actually make someone so relief. i am always an honest person, but was shivered for a sec because i donno how to tell him face to face. finally, i had a long talk with him in msn, and i feel great bout it=) it's a mature way to be honest to each other when you are planning to move on to the next step.
i guess i was hiding myself too much previouly, makes me unhappy and sad. but luckily i manage to talk to my frens and get over it. i am back to happy mode, and try to always be=)
laughing is one of the best thing to do, it gaves hope=) and it shine me in a way. without laughing, i guess i am not being myself.... it's been a long time since i ever laugh like this before, waht a wonderful feeling..=)
i want to laugh, always=)
"love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction"
thank you, for listening. for caring. for understanding. for being honest.
and you really have beautiful eyes, your eyes tell stories..=)
Monday, October 13, 2008
tonight's a great night
Tonight's a great night.
I went out with a fren of mine, or i would say a date??okay....a fren date.. haha...well, whatever it is, the most important thing is that we both having great time talking and chilling out(he told me so).
Flashing back bout what we had chatted, reminds me of the sweet memories when i am living with my grandparents. i miss my grandpa alot alot alot alot alot.......sigh, i miss him, tho he had passed away 6 years ago, not living with us in this house anymore, but i can feel him=) he always like to turn into butterfly, and stay in my pc room for hours!!! i know it's him=)
Anyway, yeah...lol, gosh...i have no idea why am i blogging......
By the way, he is....erm...kinda cute....(damn, he sure damn perasan when he read this)
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
找自己
把留了很多年的长发剪短，找到了已经忘记的自己。
离开后，才发现自己受了委屈。
离开后，才发现自己错过了很多。
离开后，才发现世界变大了，天空也长高了。
爱得很深，又如何？
付出很多，又怎样？
到头来，也是要放弃的。
放弃了一年的感情。
放弃了爱他的心情。
放弃了有过的回忆。
得到了想要的自由。
这样，其实对大家都好。
真的，这样就好。
希望希望，在我看不到的时候，他会好好的过日子。
希望希望，当我不在身边的时候，他会坚强努力。
希望希望，他会开开心心。
希望希望，他会爱自己。
就像我爱他一样，就像他爱我一样。
最后一次，在这里叫你一声
“宝贝，要好好爱自己！！”
离开后，才发现自己受了委屈。
离开后，才发现自己错过了很多。
离开后，才发现世界变大了，天空也长高了。
爱得很深，又如何？
付出很多，又怎样？
到头来，也是要放弃的。
放弃了一年的感情。
放弃了爱他的心情。
放弃了有过的回忆。
得到了想要的自由。
这样，其实对大家都好。
真的，这样就好。
希望希望，在我看不到的时候，他会好好的过日子。
希望希望，当我不在身边的时候，他会坚强努力。
希望希望，他会开开心心。
希望希望，他会爱自己。
就像我爱他一样，就像他爱我一样。
最后一次，在这里叫你一声
“宝贝，要好好爱自己！！”
Monday, August 18, 2008
一个人
坎坷的童年过后,从来没有再一个人走街，吃饭。这是我的原则。
今天，是第一次。
漫无精心地驾着车在路上行驶，脑袋一片空白。
到了目的地，逛逛，买东西，吃寿司。一个人逛，一个人买，一个人吃。
不知不觉，用了整千块。买完了，逛玩了，吃完了，回家。
我从来不会一个人吃饭，如果没人陪，我宁愿不吃。
我从来不会一个人逛街，如果没人陪，我宁愿不逛。
我从来不会一个人买东西，如果没人陪，我宁愿不买。
全因为，怕寂寞。
今天，所有的“不会”我都一个人完成。
到底为什么？
因该是不服吧，不服承诺过的人，临时改变主意。
因为她，心情真的非常地糟。不想见人，不想说话，只想一个人，做一个人可以做的事。
我不需要你陪，不要不要了。
今天的笑容很少，今天没说过一句话。
这样的我其实很可怕，因为连销售员都不敢跟我说话了。
真好笑。
一个人做着一个人作的事，真得很好笑。
我却。。。。。
笑不出来。
今天，是第一次。
漫无精心地驾着车在路上行驶，脑袋一片空白。
到了目的地，逛逛，买东西，吃寿司。一个人逛，一个人买，一个人吃。
不知不觉，用了整千块。买完了，逛玩了，吃完了，回家。
我从来不会一个人吃饭，如果没人陪，我宁愿不吃。
我从来不会一个人逛街，如果没人陪，我宁愿不逛。
我从来不会一个人买东西，如果没人陪，我宁愿不买。
全因为，怕寂寞。
今天，所有的“不会”我都一个人完成。
到底为什么？
因该是不服吧，不服承诺过的人，临时改变主意。
因为她，心情真的非常地糟。不想见人，不想说话，只想一个人，做一个人可以做的事。
我不需要你陪，不要不要了。
今天的笑容很少，今天没说过一句话。
这样的我其实很可怕，因为连销售员都不敢跟我说话了。
真好笑。
一个人做着一个人作的事，真得很好笑。
我却。。。。。
笑不出来。
不想说话
今天，心情很差。根本不想说半句话。
承诺，为什么叫作“承诺”呢？承，就是所谓的承认，承受；诺，便是诺言的意思。它是要我们，勇于承认，承受所说过的诺言。
偏偏，总是自己重视的人，背叛；食言。
心情深受打击，因为，这都不是第一次了。每每，遇到被食言时，我总是视而不见，苦苦哀求，好让她回心转意。当她好不容易答应，却没有丝毫喜悦，反而心如刀割。
那么多年朋友，难道要我撕破脸皮，才能让在我需要陪伴的时候，哀求你来？
想想，我何时在你需要支持时，不在你身边?
想想，我何时在你不开心时，不听你说话？
想想，我何时在你需要陪伴时，不在你左右？
我随时准备在你到下之前，扶持着你。以前是，现在是，未来也是。
每当我遇到挫折，都会一口气的自己撑到底，重来没有让你担心的时候。
可我只有一个小小的要求，就是当你答应了要做的事，别在最后时刻才说不做。
不止一次了。
我会累的。
我心会痛的。
我会很失望的。
别这样对我，好吗？
承诺，为什么叫作“承诺”呢？承，就是所谓的承认，承受；诺，便是诺言的意思。它是要我们，勇于承认，承受所说过的诺言。
偏偏，总是自己重视的人，背叛；食言。
心情深受打击，因为，这都不是第一次了。每每，遇到被食言时，我总是视而不见，苦苦哀求，好让她回心转意。当她好不容易答应，却没有丝毫喜悦，反而心如刀割。
那么多年朋友，难道要我撕破脸皮，才能让在我需要陪伴的时候，哀求你来？
想想，我何时在你需要支持时，不在你身边?
想想，我何时在你不开心时，不听你说话？
想想，我何时在你需要陪伴时，不在你左右？
我随时准备在你到下之前，扶持着你。以前是，现在是，未来也是。
每当我遇到挫折，都会一口气的自己撑到底，重来没有让你担心的时候。
可我只有一个小小的要求，就是当你答应了要做的事，别在最后时刻才说不做。
不止一次了。
我会累的。
我心会痛的。
我会很失望的。
别这样对我，好吗？
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Define Beauty
In everyone’s heart there’ll always be something that is beautiful, important enough to cherish, to give themselves strengths and will to continue chasing dreams in life. Beauty can only be defined by the person who sees it and no one else. Some says, “The sky. Every hour of the day it’s different.” While some says, “Beautiful is… the curve of a smile on a mother’s face as she watches her little girl dance.” Beauty is the qualities that give pleasure to senses, is the total consciousness of our perfections, and it’s an outstanding example of its kind.
Still remember when I was young, no one liked me. I was a fat and ugly, dumb and disgusting child that had been abused by my own aunt. Even my own father hated me. I’d always wonder what’s wrong with me. I don’t think physical appearance would be the cause of hatred. Then mommy wanted a divorce because the person that I used to call “father” betrayed his commitments to my mother and I by seeing another woman, and not only that, he even brought that woman back to home and chased us out of the room during midnight. Sounded sad isn’t it? I was three and my very first lesson that I learned was “betrayal”. I don’t trust anyone else beside myself, because I’m afraid of getting hurt and I’m too scared to try the taste of disappointment. I’ve always believe that the higher expectation you have the bigger disappointment you will get, so I chose not to expect anything from anyone who have any half chance to betray my trust, and to do so, I chose not to trust. Since then I became a defensive person who overly self protected. Eventually, friends didn’t like to hang out with me; teachers don’t even bother about me. I was a pathetic lonely little freak. My second lesson that I learned was “hate”. I hated people around me, I hated myself. Since then, I learned “lonely”. Everywhere I go people laugh at me about my size. I rather am alone where only silence is my most trusted friend.
To err is human, to forgive is divine. There’s no beauty can be born of perfection. No one can ever make everyone like you. I made a mistake, and I willing to change, and from that I learned to “forgive”. I tried to focus on my life, things that I should do and my aims towards my destiny. And so I am ever-seeking to learn that next lesson, “achievement”. You want people to respect you as what you are but first you need to respect the others. What I have learned has helped me to become a contented and respectful person. I stand by my word to study hard and do all the best I could to achieve self-actualization.
Things that happened in life, no matter good or bad, are where you gain your experience. Great changes in my life had proven that nothing is impossible as long as there’s hope. By turning into a confident person, with smile on my face everywhere I go and for everyone I meet, “happiness” was my sixth lesson. Happiness is priceless, it is not meant for sale but to be discovered, and when you have found it, you’ll never miss or lack it. To be satisfied is indeed, to be beautiful.
Beauty, to me, is the process that leads me towards satisfactions. The process that I meant here, is not a formula or a procedure but the mistakes that you had done; the though time that you had been through; the moments that you had shared; and the lessons that you had learned to make you a better person, a person good enough to say, “I am satisfied!”
Still remember when I was young, no one liked me. I was a fat and ugly, dumb and disgusting child that had been abused by my own aunt. Even my own father hated me. I’d always wonder what’s wrong with me. I don’t think physical appearance would be the cause of hatred. Then mommy wanted a divorce because the person that I used to call “father” betrayed his commitments to my mother and I by seeing another woman, and not only that, he even brought that woman back to home and chased us out of the room during midnight. Sounded sad isn’t it? I was three and my very first lesson that I learned was “betrayal”. I don’t trust anyone else beside myself, because I’m afraid of getting hurt and I’m too scared to try the taste of disappointment. I’ve always believe that the higher expectation you have the bigger disappointment you will get, so I chose not to expect anything from anyone who have any half chance to betray my trust, and to do so, I chose not to trust. Since then I became a defensive person who overly self protected. Eventually, friends didn’t like to hang out with me; teachers don’t even bother about me. I was a pathetic lonely little freak. My second lesson that I learned was “hate”. I hated people around me, I hated myself. Since then, I learned “lonely”. Everywhere I go people laugh at me about my size. I rather am alone where only silence is my most trusted friend.
To err is human, to forgive is divine. There’s no beauty can be born of perfection. No one can ever make everyone like you. I made a mistake, and I willing to change, and from that I learned to “forgive”. I tried to focus on my life, things that I should do and my aims towards my destiny. And so I am ever-seeking to learn that next lesson, “achievement”. You want people to respect you as what you are but first you need to respect the others. What I have learned has helped me to become a contented and respectful person. I stand by my word to study hard and do all the best I could to achieve self-actualization.
Things that happened in life, no matter good or bad, are where you gain your experience. Great changes in my life had proven that nothing is impossible as long as there’s hope. By turning into a confident person, with smile on my face everywhere I go and for everyone I meet, “happiness” was my sixth lesson. Happiness is priceless, it is not meant for sale but to be discovered, and when you have found it, you’ll never miss or lack it. To be satisfied is indeed, to be beautiful.
Beauty, to me, is the process that leads me towards satisfactions. The process that I meant here, is not a formula or a procedure but the mistakes that you had done; the though time that you had been through; the moments that you had shared; and the lessons that you had learned to make you a better person, a person good enough to say, “I am satisfied!”
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